Discomfort

Discomfort signals that boundaries are being challenged. These may mean boundaries of privacy or personal agency, which is bad. But it can also mean the boundaries of your worldviews, your assumptions and expectations of others and yourself. Challenging these ones lead to growth, which is good.

BUT ALSO: Yes, this isn’t the only way to grow.

BUT ALSO ALSO: There are some kinds of growth that can only happen from challenge. Reexposure isn’t the only way, but the discomfort still must be overcome.

I'm thinking specifically of white fragility. So many white people evade reflection and conversation - especially on matters of racial inequality - by claiming it makes them "uncomfy"^[1]. A majorly white community would prioritize their comfort over the lived experience of others. Or the white person would start claiming they're being "bullied" and "abused" because people are talking about their own lives. Then in comes white people's unexamined prejudices: the soft uwu whitie has been made uncomfy by these angry aggressive mean browns and blacks. Which is something I've personally experienced too many times.